We are God's Masterpiece

I came from a typical OFW family. My father went to Saudi Arabia when I was seven to search for greener pasteur while my mother who was a public school teacher raised me and my two brothers. Growing up, I never really had a physical father figure and I thought my family's structure was normal. My father would go home every two or three years and would only spend a month with us. That's how I remember my childhood with my father. On the other hand, my mother became the de facto head of the family with the responsibilities of raising three children all by herself. Financially, my father would support and provide us with everything that we need by sending us to Catholic schools and giving us a good lifestyle that we were really grateful for. But his lack of physical presence in our lives seemed to give us that feeling of emptiness as we grow older.

My lovely family 

By God's grace, I finished my education with flying colors while all the time acting as a good role model to my two younger brothers. I thought that was enough since I became the obedient daughter and supportive sister that I should be. Unfortunately, my brothers and I doesn't seem to share the same ideals.

One of my brothers, a former YFC like me, who we thought was doing okay with his Nursing degree had been having a hard time all along coping up with peer pressure and instead resorted to smoking and drinking. His growing addiction to computer games led him to fail his grades which inevitably got him kicked out of the program. His problem escalated more when he got his then-girlfriend pregnant at 18. This news came as a big shock to both my parents who have been great providers and supporters in their own way, especially to my mother who has been actively serving in the Church and is a CFC HOLD leader. My father, who thought everything is going well with us because we are all Catholic-schooled and had been guided spiritually by our Parish and CFC family felt devastated with what happened to his eldest son. He was even brought to the ICU and was hospitalized for a couple of days due to a heart attack after learning of all this because he never thought that his quiet, smart, altar-server-son would do such a thing.

Then, unexpectedly my youngest brother who at that time just started going to College as well suffered depression when he learned that his girlfriend from high school cheated on him when she went to the US. Instead of telling us about his problems, he simply kept silent and diverted his attention to smoking. Because of this, he got himself kicked out of his Accountancy program because of inconsistencies in school requirements.

During those times, I would remember that whenever I would pray so hard, I would always ask God why this is happening to us. I felt like we did something wrong. All of these trials came unexpectedly and has shaken our quiet family. What's worst is that I really feel bad seeing my parents going through the pain of disappointment and always questioning themselves about where could have they done wrong? Aalso, it pains me to see my two brothers going through all of these problems that we would only hear from stories of friends and relatives. It even came to a point where I felt helpless and as their Ate, I blamed myself that I wasn't able to guide them properly and that I just couldn't protect them.

I thought that what we have before was enough. Even though we have a dysfunctional family structure we have always been happy. But truth is, the problems arise because God intended for it to happen. Crazy as it may seem, God's plans are way better and complex than ours.

If God didn't separate my parents physically for the last 20 years, they wouldn't probably be celebrating their 31st wedding anniversary next month while still acting like lovestruck teenagers.

If God didn't allow us to be raised alone by our mother, we probably wouldn't be as strong as who we are now even with all the trials that had come our way.

If God didn't made my brother feel the addiction to vices and hadn't gotten him in a situation to become a young father, he wouldn't be the mature, hardworking and devoted husband to his wife that I know now who is also a father of three beautiful children.

If God didn't made my youngest brother suffer heart break, depression and confusion as to what he really wants with his life, he would've not found his girlfriend of 3 years now and won't be able to know that he wanted to become a Doctor.

God has his own plans for us because he created us, whether we may question his ways or try our best to understand everything. His plans are way bigger, better and more beautiful than what we can imagine and hope for.  It's simply trusting him to unfold his promises and to realize why they all happened. Everything will take its course according to his plans at the right time and all we need is to have faith. All of this is possible because We are God's masterpiece.