I grew up in a strong Catholic community wherein my mom initiated us into the service. I remember I was in 3rd grade when I first attended a Couples For Christ Lord's Day celebration where all the ministries gathered together in joyous acclamation of their faith to the Lord. Back then, I honestly couldn't understand all the hype although I had been enrolled in a parochial school. It must be because back then, all I cared about was interacting with my fellow kids to play games while all the adults were raising their hands high up in the air, dancing spontaneously, singing Christian songs and mumbling odd sounds.
My Mom definitely kept the spirit alive. She was really an active member of the community and it's already a common scenario to see people coming to our house on a monthly basis to do their so-called Household activities. Obviously, my brothers and I were immediately included in the community, specifically in the Kids for Christ group, even though we didn't really know its relevance in our young lives.
The summer of my junior year in College, I joined the Youth for Christ group, another ministry of the CFC Family that caters to those in their teens. Just like how I ended up in the KFC group, it wasn't because I wanted to but for sake of writing a report for my Theology class. It was quite selfish, I'm aware of that, but who would blame me if it was the only choice I've got to pass that boring class? CFC was the only Christian community that I am familiar with outside of my Catholic school since the once strangers who'd regularly come to our house were now like my second family, calling the oldies Titos and Titas. I was really confident that writing a report about the community is not much of a big deal, since I know the basics, thanks to my technical Christian background and from the fact that I grew up knowing what these people do even though I didn't care much about it.
But what happened during that 3 day Youth camp was something that I know can't forget. My two high school best friends were with me that time and we all felt something we thought were only the creations of the imaginative mind. During that night when I was being baptized, receiving the Holy Spirit so they say, I honestly swear that I felt there was a moment that I had somewhat been blinded by something. Oddly enough, my eyes were shut tight during that time and on my palm, I really felt something hot like all the energy in my body were being centered there. But that experience only lasted for a few seconds but for me it felt like I could just die at that moment. The feeling was really, really, really weird.
After that experience, I suddenly found myself being more active in the service than my Mom. I would spend most of my free time with my new YFC peers, going to different schools spreading the faith and evangelizing other doubtful teens like me. I joined the Music ministry as a backup, learning, singing and loving all the songs that I once felt were only good for routinary dull Sunday masses and also finding myself doing the odd ways of raising my hands in the air, dancing spontaneously to any rhythm and mumble sounds that I don't really understand but only because I felt like my tongue were just doing it by itself (Tongue worship) that I once thought were quite odd as a means of praising the Lord. I don't know what strange force acted up on me to be like that, but everyone that knew me in the community never felt happier to see me participating more eagerly than I used to.
Good things seems not to last, because after my schedule turned hectic, I then felt myself being pulled away from the service that I'm starting to know better. Unfortunately, I wasn't that strong back then and the support system that should have guided me, one-by-one disappeared due to different conflicts. It only took me a few months to bounce back to my old stressful reality, slowly diminishing my intimate personal connection with God and only seeking him whenever I 'm in need.
Years passed by, after quite a number of changes that occurred to me, I found myself being called unexpectedly into the community once again. Interestingly, not with familiar faces that I grew up with but in a land far from where I never imagined being at in the first place. More so, this time I volunteered sincerely to take part in the 12 long weeks of the Singles For Christ Christian Life Program without anyone telling me to do so. Since I'm obviously not fit anymore to partake in my previous ministry's activities because of the current needs differences, I thought it's about time to accept the call once more and be matured about it - no buts or anything.
And just like one of the bible verses that caught my attention -- "For many are invited but not all are chosen (Matt 22:14)", I felt that the CLP experience as a whole was a wake-up call for me. I've had my fair share of trials in the past and there were moments in my life I felt God was being unfair, always questioning him, believing logically that life is always and will be unfair, but due of the teachings that were shared, I'm now slowly realizing that God only answers prayers in three ways: Yes, No and Not yet time. Although I'm still in the process of accepting the things that I cannot change or is still seeking the wisdom to discern the happenings in my life, I realized the need to view them in a different perspective, more as blessings from God to help me become a good follower. With this understanding that God never ever fails, I'm now a firm believer that all we have to do is to sincerely ask Him and in time everything will be given.
